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<title>Kinktober 2020 Day 31: Cuddling and Respect by BlackLightNightLight (BorealLights)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313468">Kinktober 2020 Day 31: Cuddling and Respect</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BorealLights/pseuds/BlackLightNightLight'>BlackLightNightLight (BorealLights)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kinktober 2020 [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Eskel (mentioned), Asexuality Spectrum, Demisexual Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Gray-Asexuality, I honestly don’t know how to label Jaskier’s asexuality, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Acephobia, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Not between Geralt and Jaskier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:49:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BorealLights/pseuds/BlackLightNightLight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaskier knew he should want this. Should revel in the touch of the man he loved. Instead all he felt was a pit of dread opening in his stomach. Sometimes this happened to him; the idea of having sex made his skin itch, made him want to vomit. Some small part of him was broken, he thought. But he didn’t say anything— none of his other partners had ever listened, so why would Geralt? Instead Jaskier bit down the nausea and let Geralt manhandle him onto the bed, stripping them both easily.</p>
<p>Geralt and Jaskier have a talk about consent, and sexual needs.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Kinktober 2020 [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>244</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kinktober 2020 Day 31: Cuddling and Respect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Aren’t these all supposed to be about kinks?<br/>Me: Yes. Cuddling is a kink.<br/>But they should be sexy!<br/>Me: There’s nothing sexier than respecting your partner and healthy communication!</p>
<p>Let me be clear: There is no sex in this fic. Just some talking and establishing healthy consent.</p>
<p>A content warning: Jaskier had some bad partners in the past who didn’t respect his consent.</p>
<p>Thank you to everyone who helped me write this fic (which is the Geraskier discord, and firelord_zutara, and Nili and just. A lot of people)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaskier was nervous. It’d been a few weeks since he and Geralt had fallen into bed together, gasping out confessions of love as they ground together. The morning after had been nerve-wracking, Jaskier sure he’d wake up to an empty bed… but Geralt had stayed, giving him a gentle kiss as they cuddled together. They hadn’t done anything more since then, just cuddling at night and stealing kisses when they thought nobody could see. But when they’d gotten into their inn room tonight, Geralt had drawn him into an intense kiss, one hand boldly groping Jaskier’s ass.</p>
<p>Jaskier knew he should want this. Should revel in the touch of the man he loved. Instead all he felt was a pit of dread opening in his stomach. Sometimes this happened to him; the idea of having sex made his skin itch, made him want to vomit. Some small part of him was broken, he thought. But he didn’t say anything— none of his other partners had ever listened, so why would Geralt? Instead Jaskier bit down the nausea and let Geralt manhandle him onto the bed, stripping them both easily.</p>
<p>His fear got the better of him when Geralt reached for his smallclothes, and he pushed his beloved away, curling in on himself against the corner the bed rested in.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry Geralt, I can’t, no—“ Jaskier choked out, tears forming against his will as he hid his face. Geralt was going to leave him if he didn’t get himself under control soon, or get mad, start asking questions. He forced himself to start taking even, slow breaths as the mattress dipped. Geralt was moving closer, and Jaskier hated how his heart rate spiked.</p>
<p>“I’m going to touch your knee. Is that okay? Just shake your head no if it isn’t,” Geralt didn’t sound upset, and after several long seconds, his warm, calloused hand rested gently on Jaskier’s knee. Geralt didn’t move it, he just kept it there as a warm, comforting weight. Jaskier finally looked up, hastily scrubbing at his tear-stained cheeks.</p>
<p>“I’m okay now, we can keep going, I’m sorry,” Jaskier felt himself saying automatically, despite what he actually wanted. Geralt didn’t move, though. Instead he just stared thoughtfully at Jaskier for a few moments before shaking his head.</p>
<p>“No. I think we should just head to bed, get some sleep.” His tone was final, and he pulled away. Jaskier grabbed his hand desperately. Geralt was going to leave him for sure after this.</p>
<p>“No! Really, Geralt, I’m fine. I just get a little weird sometimes! We can go back to h-having sex, please don’t go.” His voice gained a note of hysteria, despite his fear. Geralt let Jaskier drag him back. With carefully telegraphed movements, he joined Jaskier by the wall, their bare arms brushing together.</p>
<p>“Jaskier, honestly, do you want to have sex right now?” Geralt didn’t sound angry. If anything, he sounded concerned, but nothing that indicated he was unhappy with the turn of events. Jaskier took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“No. I don’t. But it’s okay, if we still have sex I’ll enjoy it—“ a finger was placed gently on his lips, quieting him.</p>
<p>“Jaskier. If you don’t want to have sex, then we won’t have sex. I don’t want to do anything that would make you upset or unhappy,” Geralt said, pulling his hand away. “I’m glad you told me the truth,”</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked in shock. Not all of his other partners had ever… Yes, they said they wanted to make him happy, but most of them believed him when he said he was okay. Quite a few of them were either willing to continue, or guilted him into it. But Geralt was just. Accepting it.</p>
<p>“But,” Jaskier found himself saying, his voice small, “I’m broken.”</p>
<p>That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because Geralt’s expression turned dark, one of his hands clenching into a fist. Then, just as quickly, it was gone.</p>
<p>“Jaskier, may I put my arm around you?” </p>
<p>“Yes, of course, you don’t need to ask,” Jaskier said automatically, pressing into Geralt’s side as one large arm wrapped around his shoulders. It was nice to be held like this, and it soothed some of his fears about Geralt leaving him. They sat in silence for several minutes, but for once Jaskier didn’t feel inclined to break it.</p>
<p>“I have things to say, but first I need to know: The first time we had sex, I didn’t force you, did I?” Geralt’s voice was hesitant, and Jaskier could sense the undercurrent of worry in his voice. Jaskier reached over and gently turned Geralt to face him, pressing an equally gentle kiss to his forehead.</p>
<p>“You did not. I… most of the time I’m fine with sex, or at least okay with it, as long as I love the person. But, sometimes I’m not. Okay with sex, I mean. But you didn’t force me, I promise. I wanted to have sex with you,” Jaskier assured Geralt, and he could visibly see his lover relax. It was surprising that Geralt cared so much, but touching as well—he should have known his Witcher wasn’t like any of his former partners.</p>
<p>Slowly, almost hesitantly, Geralt pulled Jaskier into his lap, all his movements easy to predict, and never forceful, like he was afraid of scaring Jaskier. Jaskier went willingly though, nestling eagerly against Geralt’s broad chest. Here he knew he was safe, and, apparently, didn’t have to worry that Geralt would do more.</p>
<p>“My brother, Eskel. He… he doesn’t like sex, at all. In fact, most of the time, it disgusts him,” Geralt broke the silence first, surprisingly. Whatever Jaskier had been expecting Geralt to say, it wasn’t this. “Sometimes he doesn’t like being touched, either. When we were younger, he’d often say he was broken. It took him years to realize he wasn’t. Some people don’t ever want sex. Some people, like you, only want sex sometimes. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them.”</p>
<p>Jaskier felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He wasn’t sure how to process what Geralt had told him, though there was a sense of overwhelming relief. He wasn’t broken. There wasn’t anything wrong with him.</p>
<p>“So. You… you aren’t going to leave me?” Jaskier didn’t mean for his voice to sound so small. </p>
<p>“Not until you tell me to.” Geralt promised, placing a gentle kiss on the back of Jaskier’s head.</p>
<p>Jaskier felt like he could cry out of happiness. Geralt really was amazing—not only was he the type of hero Jaskier had dreamed of meeting in his youth, he was also an understanding and loving partner. He wasn’t disgusted by Jaskier, didn’t think he was broken or wrong.</p>
<p>“Geralt, can we cuddle tonight? I… I’m not up for sex but I want to be close to you,” he asked hesitantly. Without forcing him, Geralt slowly turned Jaskier in his lap so they could look at each other. After staring for a few long seconds, Geralt seemed to decide Jaskier was being honest and nodded.</p>
<p>It was easy for Geralt to rearrange them so they were laying down, Jaskier’s head resting on Geralt’s chest as they cuddled. The soothing sound of his lover’s heartbeat sending him to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ahhhhhh *runs screaming into the distance* NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow and I am Not Ready. Oh boy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By now, you all know the drill. Comment if you liked it, or I need a tag, or you noticed a major error.</p>
<p>Find me on Twitter @panda_spirited</p>
<p>Find and support me on Tumblr!<br/><a href="https://howdoistormspirit.tumblr.com">Regular Blog</a><br/><a href="https://borealwrites.tumblr.com">Writing Blog</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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